I recently started a new kind of spiritual discipline. It is the (almost) daily practice of taking a few moments to ask and ponder the simple question: Where did I see God today? Where did I hear him? Feel him? It has been a way for me to come back to a simple gratitude without the standard, “I’m thankful for…” It helps me remember that God was there all along–that in the hardest moments, in the brightest ones, I was not alone. Most days, I remember. Most days I remember the moments I felt the presence of the eternal. In a song. A look on my child’s face. A breeze. Today, as I sat down to reflect, something different came forth–a realization that all the times he must have been nearby I was nowhere to be found. I was the one who didn’t show up. My head was swimming with thoughts of the past, the future. So preoccupied with what could be, I failed to see what was. I took myself so far out of the present that I seemed to not notice the Presence.
Where did I see God today?
Was he in the sunshine that warmed my skin
as I sat still on the park bench
stewing about the work inside the building across the field?
Was he in the faces across the table –
All the many tables that held my elbows up
In the difficult conversations today?
Was he in the food on my plate:
The bread and the greens and the cheese,
The glass of water?
Was he in my breath? The few, short, shallow breaths?
Was he in my tears? The ones that waited for home to come forth?
Was he in my children tonight?
Where did I see God today? Where was he?
Was he as there as everyone says he is? Can you feel alone with him beaming down on you? Can you feel trapped when the creator of freedom is on your plate?